Never Pretend
by Laura x Tennant
Summary: Ten/Rose. This will be a four chapter story. Set during and after GitF. Inspired by the quote: 'Never pretend to a love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command.' Final chapter up now! Hope you like x
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: This will be a four chapter story. Set during and after GitF. Do__ not, I repeat not, be alarmed by the existence of Reinette in this chapter. Hope you enjoy!_

_**Never Pretend **_

_-x-_

_Never pretend to a love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command._

_-x-_

**_PART 1_**

She walked into the room and watched him staring out of the window, up at the stars, with such melancholy written all over his face that her heart sank.

"You feel trapped," Reinette observed.

"No, I don't," the Doctor denied.

"Yes you do. I think you look out there and you see all you miss; all those stars and all those planets. The slow path will drive you to despair. You are restricted to one time, one place, and you are condemned to live it out in a linear fashion; something you are not accustomed to."

"It's not that," he replied shortly.

Reinette smiled to herself. "No, I don't suppose it is."

He glanced at her. "What does that mean?"

"I am not a fool, Doctor. She is lost to you now, and you regret leaving her." She prided herself on keeping her voice steady, and offered him a graceful smile.

He looked away; back up at the stars, back up at where Rose was, somewhere, somewhen; far from now and at that very moment. "I'm sorry," he said quietly.

"There is no need to apologise, Doctor," she replied. "Matters of the heart might not always be convenient, but they cannot be repented."

The Doctor scoffed quietly. "If I don't get back, she'll never know," he pondered sadly.

She arched an eyebrow. "Know what?"

"She must, though. Deep down," he sniffed. "She must've been able to tell."

"Tell of what?" she persisted. She may have been inside his head, but it had not been long enough for her to reach his deepest, most precious memories, desires or feelings. It was the way he looked at Rose, and the way he was acting now, that revealed to her exactly what he was talking about, though he did not explicitly say.

"Unless this has changed her mind. Unless me, coming here, has made her think she's got things wrong..." he said then. That thought didn't sit well with him, and he shifted uneasily. "Nothing's changed, though. Just because I came here, it doesn't mean..." he trailed off, leaning against the window pane despondently as he wondered how he could justify his actions to her when he saw her again. Well. _If_ he saw her again.

"If you can't have the one you love, love the one you are near," Reinette murmured softly.

The Doctor swallowed thickly. "I can't do that."

"You can learn," she suggested.

He shook his head, removing his glasses and rubbing at his eyes wearily. "No, I can't. I really can't. She's..."

"The only one you are supposed to love," finished Reinette. "I understand."

The Doctor sighed, wishing he had a hand to hold. Specifically, Rose's hand. But she was thousands of years away, and he felt every mile of distance between them weighing heavy on his hearts as if he'd had to walk them himself.

"I do understand," she insisted.

"Then why did you ask?"

"I didn't. I merely thought it could comfort you."

"Comfort me?" He ran a hand through his hair. "I'm so sorry," he sighed. "But that can't comfort me." He heaved a sigh. "Why do I always realise things when it's too late?"

Reinette could not answer.

"It's like...it's like, I knew how I felt about her, I honestly did – have known since preposterously early on – but I got scared, see, because things were so perfect and then, well, then I met this friend of mine, who I hadn't seen for years and years, and it made me realise how fleeting Rose's life would really be, made me realise she would leave me, at some point, and I realised how naive and silly and _young _I had been acting, thinking she and I could..." he broke off, his eyes widening as he turned to face her. He tugged at his ear sheepishly. "I'm really sorry, I shouldn't be saying all of this, I - "

Reinette swallowed hard and shook her head. "It's fine, Doctor. You may continue, if it is helpful for you, to come to terms with things."

He rubbed at his eyes again. "I don't know what to do."

She stepped closer to him, her hands demurely folded in front of her as she walked. "Continue, Doctor," she commanded softly.

"I..." he started. He closed his eyes and leant against the wall. "I invited her old boyfriend to come along with us," he admitted. He opened one eye, saw that Reinette had raised a pitying eyebrow, and closed it again, groaning. "I know, I know. It was really stupid. Really, _really _stupid. I thought I ought to put some distance between us, see, and Mickey being there was the way to do that. But, well...he's a good bloke and that, but I wouldn't say I enjoy him being with us. Dividing Rose's attention. Stealing my seat next to hers at the table. Making her laugh." He sniffed, and folded his arms. "My own fault; but it's awful having to share her."

Reinette tutted and he opened his eyes. "What?" he retorted defensively.

"You really have no idea how to deal with being in love, do you?" she asked him gently.

He swallowed thickly. "She's going to die, and I'll have to live on without her _for the rest of my life," _he whispered furiously. "So no, I don't know how to deal with being in love with her."

"Inviting her previous lover on your travels with you and jumping through a mirror to the past to save a woman you hardly know is surely, _obviously, _not the way to do it, though?" Reinette observed, her eyebrows rising to her hairline.

He stared at the floor, shrugged one shoulder and mumbled, "S'pose not." Like a sulky teenager.

"Even if you push her away, even if you don't let anything more happen between you, you're too far gone not to hurt in the most painful way possible when you lose her, Doctor."

"I know!" he exclaimed loudly, his head snapping back up to look at her, his eyes blazing. Reinette took a step back in shock, and he shook his head at himself, feeling guilty again. "I know," he repeated, more quietly.

"Why did you do it?" she asked quietly, even as she dreaded the answer.

"Do what?"

"Why did you leave her there and rescue me on your own? You must know that she cares about you enough that she would have come with you, if you'd asked."

"Exactly," he sighed. "But firstly, I couldn't condemn her to this, living the rest of her days out of her time. So I couldn't even ask her, or else she'd do exactly that, for me. And later, she'd have resented me for it. Secondly, if she's there, well – she's clever, maybe she'll figure out a way to get me back..." he trailed off, thinking about that for a moment, before hurrying on, "And thirdly, I thought I might be able to pretend."

"Pretend?" Reinette questioned, swallowing against the lump in her throat.

"I'm not proud of it, but for that split instant, I truly believed that being away from her and her _ridiculously _gorgeous smile for a bit, I could pretend it doesn't bloody well make me want to kiss her every minute of the damn bloody day." He let out a long whoosh of breath and looked at Reinette apologetically. "And I _really _shouldn't have just said _that_ out loud."

She shook her head slightly. "I cannot blame you. You are distressed. You miss her. Maybe I used to think that I could consider you as mine, seeing you at different points across my life as I was. I realise, now, that this was never the case. Your hearts belong to dear Rose, and I shan't attempt to take them from her, for I know I would not succeed."

"I am sorry, Reinette. You're a beautiful woman and incredibly intelligent, and the way you saw into my mind like that, I...I...but I just, I simply can't..."

"I know. You love her too fiercely for there to be room for another."

"But you can come with us, if I find a way back," he suggested. "I know you want to see the World, and believe me, you'll see more than that."

"I'd like that," replied Reinette gratefully. She may not be able to have the Doctor in quite the way she desired, but even his friendship – and Rose's – would still be worth the monsters.


	2. Chapter 2

-x-

_PART 2_

The Doctor was back in the TARDIS, with Rose. Back where he belonged.

He'd been too late for Reinette to come with them, and felt terribly guilty for promising the stars to her and then not being able to let her see them. Especially after reading her letter to him.

But at least he was back.

He looked up from his tinkering when Rose re-entered the console room about half hour after she'd left, and slid out from under the console to talk to her. She sat on the jumpseat and he stood opposite her, leaning against the console. She looked unsure of herself, she had a tired look in her eyes, and above all, she was not smiling. The Doctor was deeply disturbed.

"Are you okay?" he asked her quietly.

She tried to force a smile. "Yeah, I'm alright. What about you?"

He shrugged, and smiled back. "Fine, really. Just feel a bit bad about Reinette."

"Right," Rose nodded, swallowing hard. She looked away from him.

The Doctor had the abrupt realisation that if he went over to her and wrapped his arms around her like he wanted to, she might not reciprocate the embrace. "I'm sorry, Rose," he murmured.

She sniffed and looked back at him. "What for?"

He sighed, and rubbed his eyes tiredly. "All sorts of things, really."

"Like...?" she prompted.

He counted the things off on his fingers. "Leaving you and Mickey to fend for yourselves while I went swanning around the court of Versailles; inventing the banana daiquiri centuries too early – that's careless, that – um, let's see, what else stupid have I done today?" he continued sarcastically, "Oh yes, leaving you and Mickey there _again _while I went through a mirror on a horse; not having a plan as to how to get _back _to you; inviting Reinette along only to have to let her down - "

"I saw you reading that letter," she interrupted quietly.

His eyebrows rose. "Yeah?"

Rose nodded, but didn't say anything else.

The Doctor blinked at her for a few moments expectantly, but when it was clear she wasn't going to continue, he offered, "Did you want to read it?"

"No," she replied emphatically. "No, it's private. It's alright."

"I don't mind..." he murmured, his hand going to his pocket to retrieve it.

"No, really, it's fine," she insisted, her voice shaking slightly. She really, really didn't think she could face reading his flipping love letter. But she had to make sure she didn't show him her own feelings, and try and comfort him. She knew he needed it. It was hard, though; she'd thought what the Doctor and her had was...well, it certainly wasn't what she thought, if the rate at which he went after Reinette was anything to go by.

"Okay," the Doctor accepted, and folded his arms. "Listen, Rose..."

"I, um. I know you want to be alone right now," she interrupted. Before he could protest that actually, no he didn't, she continued, "But I just wanted to tell you that I'm here if you need me. To, you know. Help you get through this or whatever."

He squinted his eyes at her in confusion. "Help me through...?"

"Your grief," she clarified.

His eyes widened. "Right." He paused. "See, Rose, the thing is - "

"It's alright to be upset, you know," she interrupted yet again. She was getting the feeling she wasn't all that good at this pretending she was okay for his sake thing, but she had to speak or else she'd just cry. "She was an amazing woman."

"Mmm," he agreed. _Not least because she made me see how_ _silly I am for denying me and you what we could have, purely because of your stupidly short lifespan, _he didn't tell her but thought profusely. "It's a shame those stupid gateways weren't synced properly, time-wise," he pondered. _I never even thanked her._

"Because you never had the chance..." Rose murmured. "I understand, Doctor. You're upset and disappointed because she...she died before you could even get the chance to be with her."

A frown now firmly on his face, he watched her carefully, trying to find the right words to explain it to her properly. But then, he'd never been very good at that, had he? As it was, all he could manage was a hoarse, "_Rose_..." as he realised how she'd taken his words to mean something different.

And then Rose's calm and strong facade started to crumble. She realised that she couldn't be there for him wholeheartedly unless she confronted him about one very important aspect that had been niggling away at her all evening. "I just...I can't...after what you said, I thought..." she tried, trailing off and biting her lip, warding off imminent tears.

"What, Rose?" he asked softly. "What did I say?"

"You said that I could..." she paused, breathing deeply and trying not to show him her struggling emotions. "I could stay with you for the rest of my life, but - "

"You can, Rose," he whispered, his eyes never leaving hers. "I want you to."

"- but...but why, if you say that, if you say that you won't leave me like you have done to others, why did you leave me the first chance you got?"

His eyes widened. "No, no, no! No, Rose. That's not how it was at all!"

"You explain things to me as clear as you can, right, back with Sarah-Jane and everything, and then you make me doubt you again straight away..."

"Doubt me? Why would you doubt me?" Was he not obvious enough in his actions everyday regarding how he felt for her? Granted, the last two days or so had been a deluge of stupidity, on his part, but surely the rest of the months or years, however long it'd been that he'd known Rose, made up for that?

"Are you mad?" she replied, and she almost laughed. "You tell me to trust you, that you'll let me stay with you for my forever. And then, okay, so fair enough – you have to save someone, so you crash through a mirror with no way back and I get that, I do, because that's you, that's who you _are; _always thinking about other people, trying to save them in any way you can. And I get that we can't – me and you, we can't...we can't _be _together, but - "

"Rose, wait - "

"No, hang on. Let me just..." she sighed in impatience. "Just listen to me, yeah? For a minute."

His troubled expression remained as he nodded slowly.

She took in a deep breath. "But I at least thought it was because you, being you, couldn't allow yourself something like that. Whether it's 'cos it'll hurt you more in the end or maybe 'cos you think you don't deserve it, you won't let yourself fall in love, even if you wanted to. I s'pose I sort of resigned myself to the fact nothing could ever happen between us because I thought you..." She broke off, a noise of frustration emanating from the back of her throat. "I'm not explaining this right," she feared. "I'm not saying that just because I can't have you I don't want anyone else to – well, okay, maybe I am, a little, but not on purpose, I just...I thought, considering we're so close, such good friends, and have travelled together for this long, I thought if you were going to open up to anyone, it would've been me."

He stared at her, shocked into silence by her words, scared of how he'd hurt her, anxious she would leave, and all because he hadn't told her that he -

"It's not the fact that you kissed her, went back for her, or even that you invited her along. It's just...seeing you now...your hearts are breaking, and I just, I – I - "

His brow furrowed even further, and her cracked voice, the raw emotion in her eyes as a few tears slipped down her cheeks, seemed to snap out of his trance. But once more, all he could manage was her name before she cut across him, "Rose -"

" - I...it makes me feel like if you'd stayed there, with her, to spare yourself this pain, then you wouldn't have had me with you, but you wouldn't look like _this, _and - "

" – of course I wouldn't look like this if I lost you," he scoffed, finally getting a whole sentence in, and she choked back a sob. He took a step closer to her and held her face in his hands, wiping her tears away with the pads of his thumbs. "I'd be a bloody wreck if I lost you! Do you have any idea how much I _missed you?"_

"Wh-wait, what?" she stammered, sniffing ineffectually.

"Standing there, staring up at the sky, wishing I could get back up there to find you." He dropped his hands from her cheeks to her shoulders and squeezed gently. "I made a mistake and I'm sorry. So sorry."

"I don't understand," Rose began.

"Rose, she saw into my mind," he interrupted.

"I know," she replied quietly, a lump in her throat.

"And she didn't flinch. She didn't look away. She just...accepted me; just like that. She saw...I don't know...just a glimpse, really, but even so – a glimpse would be enough to turn anyone away."

"Not me," Rose murmured, but he either didn't hear her or pretended not to in order to continue.

"She empathised with my grief in a way I hadn't expected and don't rightly deserve. For me, for my mind, that's enough to make a random, if very accomplished, woman from Earth's history intriguing." He paused. "Attractive, even, and I'm sorry," he quickly added, sensing Rose's recoil and holding her shoulders tighter so she wouldn't move away. "I'm sorry that it hurt you, I just got caught up in this idea that there was someone who could somehow understand my loneliness, and..."

"Yeah," she replied sadly. "'Lonely then, lonelier now,' right? I get it."

"No, Rose. You don't 'get it,'" he replied, shaking his head.

"Okay, fine. I'm sorry. I don't know what it's like to lose my entire species, alright? I don't. I'm not being funny, but neither does she."

"That's not what I meant. Rose - "

She interjected him to continue, "But if you just let me _in. _If you just let me know what you're thinking half the time, maybe I'd - "

"_You_ don't have to be inside my mind to know what I'm thinking, Rose."

She blinked at him wordlessly for a moment. "Is that supposed to be some sort of _joke?" _she demanded.

"No, of course not!"

"You couldn't be more of a closed book if you tried, Doctor!"

"Well, that's not true. You know far more about me than anyone else."

"Except Reinette," she muttered.

"Listen, she...she didn't know me, not really. I thought, foolishly, that she saw everything at one glance but she can't have, couldn't possibly have done, if she didn't see how I...how I..." he trailed off, the words _feel about you _sticking in his throat without his permission. He sighed. "Realistically, I've willingly told you a hell of a lot more than she could ascertain from a few seconds of peering through a door inside my head."

"She could get inside your mind, Doctor, your _memories,_" Rose argued, her throat tightening with emotion. "That's closer than I could ever get. You'd never let me in like that! You'd never let you and me do something like that, you know you wouldn't." She turned around and made for the corridor; as much as she thought in the back of her mind he needed her support as his friend...she couldn't bear this any longer. Her heart felt like it was going to implode in her chest and she wasn't sure she was breathing properly because she felt very faint, dizzy, _nauseous_.

"We could," he protested quietly, as she walked away. She instantly turned back to look at him, confusion written all over her face. "If you want," he shrugged.


	3. Chapter 3

-x-

_PART 3_

_Previously, on Doctor Who: _

"_We could," he protested quietly, as she walked away. She instantly turned back to look at him, confusion written all over her face. "If you want," he shrugged._

_-x-_

"But I thought..."

"I've never said anything about it before because I didn't want to push you into something you'd feel uncomfortable with," he said, lowering his voice as if this was a closely guarded secret he was scared to reveal. "It's...it's an invasion of privacy. I respect that. I invade your privacy and personal space enough as it is, without reading your mind, too."

"I - " she began, but the Doctor cut across her.

" - I don't make a habit of it, because it's intimate, Rose." He saw her flinch and hastily continued, "With Reinette, it was necessary, to be able to figure out what they were waiting for. I don't know how she established the feedback link to see _my _past too, but it wasn't my intention for her to do so."

"But?" she prompted, and he smiled softly.

"But with _you_, it could be just for...well." He coughed awkwardly. "Fun. Trouble is, fun things often become...addictive."

She smiled back at him very slightly, and it was enough to let hope creep into his hearts.

"It's...enjoyable for you, then, yeah?" she murmured.

"Under the right circumstances, with the right person...yes. Very." He tugged his ear nervously, shuffling his feet.

"With Reinette, was it - "

"I was a bit preoccupied with the imminent danger, to be honest," he answered dryly, raising an eyebrow.

"Right," she exhaled roughly.

"My people were telepathic," he said then, moving towards her. "There was a constant presence inside Time Lords' minds. When they all died, their presence in _my _mind vanished with them."

He stepped closer to her and took her hand. "There's silence, now, and it's not right. It doesn't feel right. That's what Reinette meant about the 'lonelier now' comment. Rose, she meant in my _mind. _I was lonely before the War because I'm an old man who has friends for a short while then carries on to find a new one when they carry on with their own lives." He squeezed her hand to stop her moving away, and was relieved when she squeezed back; even though his hearts clenched at the sight of her once again trying not to cry.

"But I could handle it," he continued. "It didn't bother me too much, because at least I had the constant backup of Gallifrey. Of the home I didn't particularly_ like_ all that much, but at least had as a foundation, a place to go back to, where the Time Lords were – who I also didn't particularly like that much, but I suppose there were a few nice ones I was friends with. Anyway, fact was, after the War, with all of that and all of them gone, it's not just the physical fact of being the only one left, but it's the silence of my mind that contributes to loneliness."

His free hand stroked at her cheek, tenderly wiping her tears away. "Please don't cry," he whispered.

She bit her lip and tried to stop, but how could she, after hearing all that? Her poor Doctor; and _oh_, how she regretted all she had said earlier on. However much he'd unwittingly hurt her, he'd had to deal with so much more devastation in his life. She might've felt like her heart was breaking earlier but now she felt so stupid in the realism of all that he'd endured.

He cleared his throat gently, looking deeply into her shining eyes. "What I'm trying to say, Rose, is that...well, you, you're..." His thumb traced over her lips, and he desperately tried to find sufficient language to describe to her just what she meant to him.

Her breath hitched in anticipation, and she brought her free hand up to rest against his chest, where she found his hearts beating far faster than normal. "Doctor?" she urged.

He inhaled deeply. "It's lonely in here," he continued, resting his forehead against hers and closing his eyes. "But you make me so happy, so - well, giddy, really – that I just...forget, sometimes. It's like you've brought me some sort of...I dunno...life, I suppose. You were there to save me just when I needed you, Rose Tyler. And I don't mean from the Nestene, I mean, from myself, and...and the dark, and I..." He lifted her hand up to parallel her other at his chest, and rested his own hands atop them. Their noses brushed together lightly as he shifted restlessly, trying to get all he wanted to say to her out in the open. "I've just been so scared, the last few days, that I'll lose you, and...It's so...I..."

"Doctor," she murmured softly.

"Yeah?"

"Can we try?" She pulled away slightly and he opened his eyes to meet her gaze. "Please?" She swallowed thickly. "Now?"

He wanted to. He desperately wanted to, especially now, especially so that he could let her see how he saw her, how he felt for her. He needed to reassure her, and maybe by taking this step that he'd never allowed himself to _believe _they could ever take together, he'd be finally letting go of his apprehension and letting them both have what they've wanted for so long; to be as close to one another as possible. Closer than close.

But there was another thing to consider. He had to tell her what she was letting herself in for, simply by being the woman he was in love with.

"Rose...there's something else," he admitted, swallowing hard.

"What is it?" she whispered.

"Like I said, I never broached this subject with you because I wasn't sure if, you know, as a human, you would want something like this."

"I can handle it, Doctor. I want to be here for you in this way," she insisted, her voice wavering. "I want to be here for you in every way."

The corner of his mouth twitched up. "Weeellll. That could be...helpful."

Her brow furrowed, uncomprehending. "What do you mean?"

"Rose, we could – I mean, only, uh, only if you want – we could, let's say, _establish _this link...well..._properly_..." he trailed off, fighting against his nervousness. "...not now, necessarily. But...eventually. That is to say, I'll probably want to do that. Want to do that even more than I already do, I mean, if we do this."

"Doctor, just say it in one simple, clear sentence so you don't babble all night about it, yeah?" she requested politely, wrapping her arms around his waist. She snuggled into his chest as he absently ran his hands up and down her back as he built up his confidence.

He tilted his head to murmur into her ear in a low voice, "You let me inside your mind, I'll never want to leave."

She thought that over for a few seconds. "That's okay," she concluded swiftly. "I probably won't want you to leave, either."

"Thing is though, to do that – now, I don't know how it'll work, seeing as you're human, but - well, I _think, _to be_ that_, er, complete with each other, we'd have to be..._complete _with each other." The Doctor paused, and then added, almost inaudibly, "Physically." He winced, and waited for the implication to sink in, expecting her to tense in his arms.

She didn't, though. She just pulled back an inch or two and stared him straight in the eye as she assured him in her light-hearted way, "I'm very much okay with that, too."

His eyebrows jumped to his hairline, and he hoped she knew what she was agreeing to. "Are you sure?"

"Of course I am. I'm surprised you felt the need to ask me that; isn't it obvious? But...but I thought, or rather, I assumed that...well, I assumed we couldn't be like that."

He leant closer. "Everything's where you'd expect. We're compatible, Rose."

She blushed. "No, I didn't mean that! I just meant, you know – with that whole 'wither and die' thing...I don't want you to be in even more pain in the end. When I - "

"Shhh," he interrupted. "Don't...don't talk about that. It's too late, anyway. I've already...I'll be devastated when you've..." he didn't say the word. Couldn't even say that word in reference to her. "...I'll be devastated whether we've had this or not, Rose."

"So...you think it's worth it?"

"Of course you are, you're worth everything."

"See...you say things like that, and you have any doubt that I'd want to be with you?" she beamed brightly.

"I didn't want to startle you with my errant thoughts," he said, starting to smile.

"Errant thoughts, eh? Sounds promising," she teased. And oh, how he was relieved to hear her teasing him again. Things were getting back on track. Better than that. Things were getting on the _right_ track. _Finally._

"Well, yes. I am impressive, after all," he grinned back.

"Thing is, Doctor - "

He stilled, wondering if she'd suddenly changed her mind about something. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, really. I was just going to say that, well...you haven't even kissed me, yet." She smiled at him warmly, tongue poking between her teeth so that he just could not resist.

He took her face in his hands, sliding his fingers into her hair, and pressed his mouth to hers; kissing her gently, reverently, lovingly. Everything their first real, proper kiss ought to be.

"Better?" he whispered as she broke the kiss to inhale some much-needed oxygen.

Her mischievous eyes answered him sufficiently and she tugged him back towards her for another kiss. She looped her arms around his neck to draw herself closer, moulding herself into his body as he tilted her slightly, walking her backwards until her bum hit the console and she squeaked in surprise. They laughed softly as they pulled back to breathe, and then he wordlessly manoeuvred them away from the console and towards the corridor, not once relinquishing his hold on her. He kept dipping his head to kiss her again, soft, swift kisses to her lips, to her jaw line, to her neck; and her hands danced across his chest, his back, into his hair.

Before he knew it he was pressing her up against his bedroom door, and this was when he finally kissed her deeply, delving into her mouth with his tongue, unbridling the passion he'd felt for her for so long. She tugged at his shirt, bunching up the fabric in tight fists as she scrabbled for him to get even closer.

He felt for the door handle, twisting it swiftly and nudging her inside, plunging them both into darkness as he closed the door behind him.

"Doctor?" she murmured.

He switched on the light and locked her lips to his again instantly, his hands on her hips guiding her to the bed. Breaking the kiss, they flopped onto it side by side and giggled childishly at themselves, in awed disbelief.

"Well that's a different way of walking to my room," he chuckled appreciatively. "Much better than the conventional way."

"Too right!" She turned her head to find him already looking at her. "So..." she began slowly. "How's this gonna work?"

He moved onto his side and lifted a hand, letting it hover above her temple. "Close your eyes," he whispered.

She did, and felt him press his fingers against her temple.

It was like the most wonderful, happiest feeling just washed over her mind, illuminating her from the inside and rushing through her entire body. "Woah!" she breathed roughly, and he withdrew his hand. "What the hell was that? That's incredible!"

"Erm..."

She watched him curiously as he glanced away; he almost looked...bashful. Nervous. "Doctor?" she prompted.

He swallowed thickly. "Weeelll. It's...how...how does it feel?"

"Amazing," she smiled. "Like...well, I can't even describe it!"

"Me neither," he murmured softly. "Now you know why this scares me so much."

"What scares you?"

"Me and you."

"What do you mean?" she asked, confused. "What was that feeling?"

"It's, um. _Well._" He coughed uncomfortably.

"Doctor, spit it out."

"My feelings for you," he finally admitted, averting his eyes from hers.

She drew in a sharp breath in surprise, and a happy giggle made its way from her throat before she could stop herself. "Wow."

"Yeah." He chanced a look back at her and saw her shining eyes and beaming grin; relief swept through him.

"Can you do it again?" she asked hopefully.

He smiled, and did as she asked. He scooted closer to her, and put the fingers of his other hand against her other temple, forming a stronger connection.

_Can you hear me? Inside your head? _he asked her softly.


	4. Chapter 4

**_A/N: The final chapter..._**

-x-

_PART 4_

_Can you hear me? Inside your head? _he asked her softly.

Rose blinked quickly in surprise. "Did you just...?"

"Yeah," he said aloud. "Can you hear it?" _Rose?_

"Yes, just about..." she breathed. "Yeah, it's...wow."

_Try and think something back to me. You'll have to concentrate._

_I...Doctor? I don't know what to say...is it working?_

_Yeah. _He laughed happily. _Yeah, it is._

_It's so...loud... _Her face screwed up in concentration, trying to hear his thoughts more clearly. Everything seemed blurry and muffled, like being at a train station and trying to focus in on one voice amongst hundreds of different voices, different noises.

_That's 'cos you haven't learnt how to focus in properly yet. Relax. It'll come to you. Your mind, it's...gosh, it's beautiful, Rose...you'll have no trouble adjusting. Now, this is sort of...stage one, I suppose you could call it. Rose?_

_Yeah. Yeah, I can hear you now. I can hear...woah, okay there. You think lots of thoughts at once, don't you?_

_I want to make love with you._

_Ah. That the errant thought you didn't want me to be surprised by?_

_Oops, sorry! One of them, yes. I should warn you, though - the others are far more explicit..._

_I really don't think they can get any more vivid than _my _fantasies – oh. Ohhh. Oh, okay. Maybe they can. _

_Try and concentrate on the thread of this conversation for now. We can talk about the...other stuff...later._

_Okdokey. Although, it's quite hard to ignore it._

_Pfft. How do you think _I _feel?_

_You really are a randy bastard. I had no idea. At least I refrain from fantasising during the day!_

_I don't sleep that much, remember. Consequently, I don't dream much at night. Daydreams, on the other hand..._

_Blimey; that excellent imagination of yours a Time Lord perk, then?_

_Probably. Though they would most definitely not have approved of me using it for these nefarious purposes._

_Well, I like to think rules are made to be broken._

_My sentiments exactly._

_Why were they so harsh about Time Lord-human interaction?_

_Because Time Lords are mentally superior –_

_Hmph._

_- hey, that's not me being arrogant; it's just fact! Sorry. Time Lords always looked down on lower species._

_Well, I'm managing alright mentally, aren't I? With this telepathy thing, I mean._

_Of course _you _are. Because you're _you. _Most people who aren't Time Lords would not have the capacity to do something like this._

_What makes me so different, then?_

_I don't know._

_Well that's a lie. _

_Ah. Yes; I forgot you can tell when I do that now._

_Hang on, though – I can't see what the real answer is. Are you...are you hiding something? You've put up a door, haven't you?_

_Only because – _

_Because what? I don't mind you still keeping secrets –_

_That makes a change._

_No, seriously, I don't mind. I know you're not used to being open about everything, and that'll take time to overcome, if ever. And that's okay. I'm here for you when you're ready. But this...this affects me, right, so I think I have a right to know. _

_You've always been special. Brilliant. But what you did, with the Time Vortex..._

_When I killed you. Are you saying that it's an after-effect of the Vortex being in my head?_

_When you _saved _me. When you saved me and all of the World and all of the universe. And no, it's not an after-effect. I just mean – what you did – your courage, your dedication... _

_Don't big me up too much, Doctor; I might start getting a big head like you._

_Oi! Cheeky minx!_

_I just wanted to help, that's all. And luckily, the TARDIS let me. It's all down to her, really._

_Nonsense. You chose to come back, when you could've been at home and safe._

_Couldn't just leave you there to die, could I? Daft alien._

_Why not?_

_Because I love you. OH! Whoops. Bugger. This telepathy business makes it really hard to hide things, doesn't it?_

_Yep! Anyway, that's why, Rose._

_What's why what?_

_Why you can do this with me. It's because you really want to. It's because you think this will keep me safe. Keep me sane, too, probably. It's because you have this utterly human and boundless energy and compassion in you that somehow, despite all my mistakes and past and idiocy, allows you to love me._

_Oh. Well, that's that explained then. Good._

_The other thing, though. The more permanent, physical thing –_

_The Sex Telepathy?_

_Ahem. Yes. The Sex Telepathy. Though I don't know why you are capitalising it._

_Well, I'm expecting it to be worthy of capitalisation. You are very impressive, after all; you said so yourself._

_So I did. Well. Okay then. Anyway..._

_Yes?_

_It can rarely be done._

_What? I thought you said – _

_Hang on, listen to my thoughts, don't get tangled up in one statement; I've not finished._

_Right. Sorry. Listening._

_With Time Lords and Ladies, even – weeelll, all Gallifreyans - it had to be right. The right kind of bond. They probably wouldn't've foreseen the possibility of a Time Lord and a beautiful, young, sexy – 'cos you really are, Rose, so, so gorgeous -_

_Doctor...?_

_Hmmm? Oh yes; right, well, basically, Time Lords and humans shouldn't, strictly speaking, be able to do this. But, well. I think you, Rose Tyler, defy all Time Lord logic and reason. Anyhow, my point is –_

_Yay, finally, he's getting to a point._

_Hey! I'm about to show you something magnificent here. Something you should know but don't, for some baffling reason._

_Really? And what's that?_

_I'm in love with you, too._

_Hmm? Wait – what? No, but. Hang on. What...! Did you just...did I imagine that, or was that...was that your thought? You...love me? Really? Properly? Like...really?_

_Yeah._

_Oh my god. Doctor..._

_I tried to tell you earlier. I suppose I'm not so good with spoken declarations, but –_

_I don't care. I'm just...oh, Doctor._

_- but I need you to know. I need you to know just how much I love you. The magnitude of it is too great for the English language. Let me show you._

_You are showing me. I love you too._

_No, I mean – Rose. Let me show you in a different way._

_What happens?_

_Just...pull yourself back from this. Go back to being in control of yourself, your body, again. Don't let go of my mind completely, just loosen your hold on it a little...that's it...let awareness of our surroundings seep in...are you okay? Your normal senses should become a little clearer._

_Yeah. I can see you again._

"Can you hear me? Speaking, I mean," the Doctor said aloud.

_Yeah, I can hear you._

"Try to speak, too."

"Doctor?"

"Yes, that's right. I'm here," he beamed at her, stroking her cheek tenderly with the backs of his fingers. _And in here._

"Woah, that feels different," she giggled. _Good different._

_Rose._

"Yeah?"

_I'm going to kiss you._

"Heee, it's so weird, hearing you say that whilst staring at your unmoving lips."

_I'm sure you've stared at my lips before whilst hearing me say that inside your head. Granted, that was your own imagination, but still – shouldn't be too weird for you to comprehend._

He was grinning smugly. She poked her tongue out at him. "Okay, so come on then. Kiss me."

"It's going to be different to when we kissed before." He paused, shifted closer, their noses brushing lightly. "Even better," he murmured across her lips.

"Better? It was pretty amazing before, though," she pointed out, raising an eyebrow. "I don't think - " He cut her off via his mouth covering hers. _– it can get much better, _she finished inside her head, before hastily retracting her statement when a barrage of emotions hit her, along with a dimensionally transcendental-pocketful of pure, divine, _pleasure._

_Oh god, you're right, you know._

_I know..._

_This is just –_

_Yep!_

_Wow..._

_Yep!_

_How?_

_Love._

He rolled her onto her back, pinning her to the bed with his body, one of his hands trailing up and down her ribcage.

_I can feel you touching me. In real life. And in here._ Her thoughts were broken up, as if panting, though her lips were still fastened to the Doctor's.

He gasped against her mouth when he felt her hands in his hair, when he felt her mind reaching further into his, wanting, needing, pulling him closer, closer, closer and closer still. _Ohhhh. Me too_.

_Have you...has it...is this normal, for you? For you, during...well. I guess...this is foreplay, right?_

He broke away from her mouth to chuckle deeply, and she giggled with him, loving the vibrations of their combined laughter against her chest. "If you want," he said softly, stroking her hair back from her face gently.

"In every way, remember?" she whispered. He nodded, and a quick search of her mind told him she meant that resolutely, with no hint of doubt whatsoever.

_Why would I doubt? _she thought to him, sealing their lips again. _Do you have doubts?_

_Nooooo. No, no, no. No way. No more doubts. This is too good to lose. You are far too important to me to lose. This is...I can't even explain._

_I know the feeling. So, is it?_

_Is it what? Oh - normal for me? Um, no. No, I haven't really...ever...done this, er, specific thing before._

_How come? You must've known how good it would be; you told me to prepare. How could have resisted this? I don't mean with me, I just mean...in general?_

_I couldn't've done this before you, even if I wanted to. There needs to be a deep bond, remember. A deeper connection than simply lust or whatever. There needs to be love._

_You're over nine hundred years old. You've loved before._

_Yes, I have. But never quite like this._ He pulled his lips away to gaze down at her adoringly.

"Really?" she whispered.

"Really. We're experiencing this for the first time together, Rose Tyler."

"That's kind of sweet," she smiled.

"It's very sweet. We are very sweet people." He bent down and licked a quick path up her neck, and she shifted against him helplessly. "Especially you," he grinned, licking his lips.

_You don't know how long I've wanted you to lick my neck._

"I do now," he pointed out.

Rose moaned and lifted her head, running her tongue across _his _neck, before pressing a kiss to his Adam's apple.

She gasped when she heard his thoughts. "Well, that's both of us in mutual agreement about the licking thing," she grinned happily. She fiddled with his tie a little. _Can we...?_

"Getting impatient?" he smirked.

"Yep. As are you," she replied pointedly, glancing down between them.

_Very true, Rose Tyler. Good observational skills, I'm impressed._

_Idiot, _she thought affectionately, untying his tie. She was about to fling it away when the Doctor caught it from her hand. She looked at him questioningly.

"Don't think I've forgotten what I now know you've thought about doing with my tie, Rose Tyler," he chided playfully.

She blushed bright red and coughed uncomfortably.

_No need to be embarrassed, _he comforted telepathically. _We have the utmost advantage on most couples; we know _exactly _what the other wants._

"Couple, eh? I _am _domesticating you," Rose smiled.

"Weeeellll," he shrugged, now his turn to look embarrassed.

_No need to be embarrassed, Doctor, _her thoughts echoed. _Or scared. Never fear; I won't make you settle down in a house._

_Mightn't be too bad, with you there. But let's stick to the stars for now, eh?_

_Oh, definitely. I'm so glad you're only wearing one layer of clothing. Oh, oops, don't know where that thought came from!_

_I do. I feel the same. Let's remove it, yeah?_

She unbuttoned his shirt as he kissed her again, and he shrugged it off easily. Her hands travelled across his chest instantly, and he pressed against her harder at her electric touch.

_Okay, so now I'm feeling disadvantaged, _thought the Doctor, tugging ineffectually at Rose's top. _Turnabout fair play and all that. Off with it._

Rose suddenly flipped them and sat astride his lap, breaking their kiss. His fingertips dropped from her temple and he suspected that their link was strong enough to hold for now whilst they continued their...activity. Just the touch of their skin against each other's would be enough to stoke the fire, so to speak. In more ways than one.

"Not very romantic, Doctor," she giggled at his previous order. His eyes twinkled with mirth as he apologised, and then he was pulling her top over her head and dragging her forward so her chest could press against his.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered, trailing his hands down her spine. It tickled and she giggled. _I love your laugh._ She giggled some more; until he pressed open-mouthed kisses to her collar bone, making her shiver against him.

He fiddled with the clasp of her bra. _Can I..._

_God, yes._

Her bra was removed relatively efficiently, and the Doctor laid back and stared up at her in complete fascination. His hands danced at her hips, fingertips dipping slightly beneath the waistband of her jeans.

"Please do something," Rose requested, smiling down at him.

"Why should I do all the work?" he retorted humorously. Nevertheless, he let his hand trail across her stomach. He watched with interest as it quivered beneath his cool palm.

_That's nice, _Rose thought.

_Mmmm, _the Doctor agreed in his head.

"Higher would be nicer,"she suggested aloud.

"You know, I think I might agree," he smiled, sliding his hand up to cup her breast. The feelings sparking off of Rose and into his mind through their link made _him _shudder. He traced his thumb over her nipple to repeat the sensation, and Rose squirmed in his lap.

His other hand languorously wandered to the button of her jeans, before undoing it swiftly with a rakish grin on his face. He sat up a little more to kiss her soundly. _This alright?_

_Mmmhmm._

_Not too fast?_

_Not fast enough!_

He chuckled, carefully rolling them over again until it was Rose on her back. The Doctor shifted mostly off of her, but his left leg remained slung over hers. He bent his head and sucked at her collar bone dexterously, and she threw her head back against her pillow when he lowered his mouth further, trailing across her breastbone.

"Want you," she murmured breathlessly, her hand reaching down to cup him.

The Doctor groaned against her chest, and started to slide down the length of her body. _Next priority: get Rose Tyler's jeans off._

She giggled, and when the Doctor pressed her kiss just below her belly button, her giggle morphed into a throaty moan.

_Stop. Teasing._

"Never," he grinned jokingly. She pulled his hair. _Ooh. I quite like that._

"Idiot," she muttered.

"Apparently you love me anyway," he pointed out, finally starting to lower her jeans.

_Yeah, I do._

She kicked her jeans off the rest of the way while setting to work undoing _his _trousers.

_I'm currently rather thrilled with how eager you are, _he thought.

Rose laughed warmly, before giving him an affectionate peck on the lips. "I bet you are."

"Rose," he whispered.

She met his gaze unquestioningly. "Doctor."

_Are you...are you absolutely sure you want to do this?_

"Yes," she answered aloud. _I've never been surer of anything, ever._

_Because this isn't – I can't – I'd never...I don't want this to be a onetime thing._

Rose arched an eyebrow in surprise. _Me neither. I intend for this to happen as often as your back can take it._

He smiled in relief. _Are you insinuating that I'm old, Rose Tyler?_

"Maybe," she grinned impishly, sealing her lips to his again.

_Well that's just rude. And a notion entirely unfounded. I run around the universe everyday defending various planets from various aliens hell-bent on taking over said various planets; I have absolutely no issues with physical activity, even at my impressive 900 + years of age, thanks very much. In fact, I am in my peak physical health. The prime of life, even!_

Rose smirked against his lips. _Right, sure. I believe you._

_Are you being sarcastic, now?_

She giggled, trailing her hand down his chest. _So what if I am? Whatcha gonna do about it?_

In answer to her question, he flipped her over, and proceeded to show her just how high his fitness levels truly were.

-x-

"I am sorry about...before, Rose," he whispered against her hair, when she was cradled in his arms nearly asleep. "And...and...I love you. I love you so much."

She wriggled slightly to make enough space to lift her head. "I know," she murmured, giving him a sleepy smile and a lazy kiss goodnight, before slowly starting to drift off to his soft kisses on the crown of her head and his gentle mantra of thoughts _I love you I love you I love you I love you _filling her mind.

. the end .

-x-

**A/N: So, let me know what you think :) Thanks to you all by the way for your comments on chapter 19 of The Slow Path. Also, regarding the ratings issue again - was I right to alter the rating of this one to 'M' or is it tame enough to have stayed at 'T?' Cos the thing is, I've read 'T' stories with such, er, events happening within them, including references to particular body parts; but I know that some of you feel that 'T' should be the characters undressing and that's it, with just an allusion to the, er, event that's gonna happen next. So I upped the rating just to be safe...**


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